Track 1 - 1st Round

Smiling brightly, I turn on my charm.

Desperately trying to connect with the person on the other side of the screen, I seek their love.

Whether the image of me reflected there is fake or real…..Even I can’t tell anymore.

—— “Heya! Thanks for checking out my 100sec-PR vid! My name’s Chihiro Natsuyaki, and I’m from the special tourist ward, HAMA 14! All my friends call me Chii! I’m passionate about dancing and regularly upload my idol dance covers on Dazzle!”

“So come check me out!”, I say with a smile.

However my smile is a bit forced, and there is a hint of anxiety lurking in my eyes.

The reality is I have no confidence in myself, and those who understand that feeling would definitely notice.

“Also, I have lots of respect for the GAL culture of the Heisei era….. My hobby is collecting Heisei memorabilia¹! First, please check out my dances!”

I hadn't started using “Chii-nese” at this point in time.

There was a moment in my SNS self-introduction video that was shot soon after I was accepted for the audition show but before the final selection where I started dancing, and only in that moment did I truly appear to be brimming with confidence.

“Alright, how about you adopt a gyaru persona? It adds more flair to have someone like that on the show. Got that? I’m counting on you.”

“……A gyaru… persona?”

That day, I sat in the TV station’s conference room, my heart thumping with nervousness.

“13Choose!” ——After applying to this next-generation idol audition program, I successfully passed the document review and video screening and made it to the finals. I was then invited for an in-person meeting; I wondered if the other contestants would be there and what they were like. It made me really nervous.

But, to my surprise, the only person in the meeting room was a man who introduced himself as the director.

In the room, there was a TV playing my newly recorded self-intro video.

The director glanced at it and said, “You mentioned liking Heisei’s gyaru culture, right?”

“We need at least one flashy person among the contestants. Ah, your current makeup is fine, but can you make your eye makeup a bit heavier? Put more emphasis into that cat-eye² look. And also, dye your hair pink”

“Dye… my hair… pink?”

“Can’t do it?”

“N-No, I can.”

When questioned, I hastily agreed. I wasn’t sure what this all meant, but I felt that I shouldn’t refuse. The director was telling this to a nobody like me, who wasn’t even part of a talent agency, so I figured I should follow his instructions if I wanted to have a chance at making it.

“Make sure to really play up the gyaru persona in front of the camera. If you can at least make it to the semi-finals, it’ll keep the show engaging.”

The director didn’t even look my way, as if I was a speck of dust in his eyes. My self-introduction video reached the dance portion, the one part I wanted him to see the most, but…

“Next person, please.”

With those words, I had no choice but to get up and leave the room.

After leaving the TV station, I looked for a salon where I could book an appointment.

I needed a place that could dye my hair pink for as cheaply as possible.

What kind of personality would a gyaru have?

I wonder if it means someone who uses a lot of gyaru slang.

Does that mean I should act bright and cheerful?

“……..At least make it to the semi-finals…., huh…”

I remember the director’s words.

That means he doesn’t think I can debut, right?

Being told to exaggerate the gyaru persona on camera surely means he wants me to be a high-energy hypeman.

I suddenly become aware of the hole deep inside my heart.

The usual draft blows through it, leaving me feeling cold and lonely.

It's the unbearable loneliness that comes when I realize no one in this world needs me.

But then, I shake my head and think to myself, “I can do this, I know I can.”

After all, I do this at home too. The same old routine.

My bad-tempered mom, my irritable big sister, and my frightened little sisters.

I smile and play the role of a clown in order to make everyone laugh.

In order to make everyone smile.

…..I thought, for a moment, that no matter where I go, nothing changes.

But even so, that’s okay.

I clenched my fists tightly at the thought.

“If it means I can become an idol, I’ll do anything.”

If it’ll change my meaningless life around.

If it can make my family smile, even just a tiny bit….

At least right now, the only path I can choose is to win the audition in front of me.

For me, there is no other option.

“13Choose!” is the successor to a popular, regularly held audition show. Being chosen and making your debut here means becoming an idol with a tremendous amount of fame and popularity.

I’ve watch many idol audition shows myself.

Contestants are brought to their dormitory, their smartphones taken away, and are made to live under strict supervision. They are ranked and compete in dancing, singing, and idol concepts. Viewer votes and producer evaluations are combined to determine who gets eliminated, starting with the lowest-ranked contestants.

I heard that there’s a total of 133 contestants this time.

And only 13 people will be allowed to debut.

So, here I was, unpacking my belongings in my assigned room at the dormitory. The other contestants were probably doing the same, though I could hear occasional excited shouts coming from down the hallway.

It was only natural.

The first mission song was just announced, and everyone was on cloud nine. I was feeling excited and anxious too.

“Man~, I’m a total nervous wreck, but I love that song to death so I can’t help but feel excited ‘bout it~!”

There’s a camera in my room too, capturing everything.

Remembering the direction to…. play up and exaggerate the gyaru persona in front of the camera, I struck up a conversation with my roommate.

“Y’know! I nearly cried when I listened to this song. It’s a song by an artist that I’m the biggest fan of…. Ah, geez, I got emotional again.”

My roommate, Komu-kun, was super cute.

His smile was radiant, like an angel’s.

It seemed he’d come all the way from Kansai to participate, and got embarrassed whenever he accidentally slipped into his Kansai dialect.

Even now, he’s shyly covering his mouth, and I can't help but think he's one of those naturally "adorable" types.

“Komu-pi is so cute—— Ah, can I call you Komu-pi? You can call me Chii!”

Komu-kun, elated, said with a laugh, “I’m glad to be roommates with Chii….”

“I haven’t tried singing or dancing before…. But Chii’s good at dancing, right? I saw it in your 100s-PR!”

“Oh, you checked it so fast! Didn’t it just come out yesterday?”

“I was told in advance that I’d be roommates with you, so I looked you up right away…. Your dancing skills are amazing, and you look really cool too!”

The day before arriving at the dormitory, I was told what my roommate’s name was.

In fact, I had already watched Komu-kun’s PR, and his shy yet amusing display of talent of “reciting pi to a hundred decimals!” as he called it while fidgeting was kinda strange, but entertaining nonetheless.

I never thought Komu-kun would watch my video, so it was a nice surprise. It warmed my heart to know that he watched my dancing and complimented it.

“To be honest, I dunno if I can keep up with practice. …..But my family is poor, you see. So I dropped out after middle school to become an idol to support my family.”

“Oh, same here. I dropped out after middle school too.”

“For real? That’s pretty comfortin’. Come to think of it, Chii and I are almost the same height too.”

I missed the chance to say it, but knowing that we both wanted to support our families and that we both came from the same impoverished background made me feel somewhat comforted.

But when Komu-kun pulled out a bunch of family photos from his luggage and put them up on the wall, I felt a pang in my chest.

Between the two people who looked to be kind and gentle parents stood Komu-kun, smiling.

Looking at the photos from his childhood to present day, I felt they all gave off the sense that he had a close bond with his family.

There were not only formal pictures, but also some casual playful ones taken of their daily lives.

As I stared at them intently, Komu-kun turned around and innocently said, “Ah, those’re my family photos.”

“…..You guys take a lot of photos, huh.”

“Papa and Mama are always…. Ah, I mean, my Dad and my Mom really love taking photos, so despite our financial situation, they always want to take photos and make photo albums for me every year. I wish they could cut me some slack, but I can’t deny that it makes me really happy.”

“………..”

I pause. My words won’t come out right away.

I thought we were similar just mere moments ago, but now I just couldn’t see him that way anymore.

I desperately tried to stop the bubbling sense of unease inside me.

“C’mon, Komu-pi, don’t try to act cool~. You usually call your parents ‘Papa’ and ‘Mama’, right? You can call them that in front of me.”

“Ehhh, you’re not going to laugh at me for actin’ like a kid?”

“I won’t laugh, I promise. I think it’s cute, so you’re totally in the OK-zone.”

Komu-kun’s shy smile really is cute.

There wasn’t a single shred of malice in him; just a genuine smile. And it made me think, “He truly is loved.”

…..He’s going to be really popular.

The thought suddenly occurred to me.

“Come to think of it, Chii, you didn’t have pink hair in your 100s-PR video, right? Did you dye it? It really suits you.”

“Aah…… Yeah, the director gave me some advice. And he suggested I go pink.”

Actually, it was more like an order.

But Komu-kun turned to me with a smile and genuinely exclaimed, “Woah, the director is so kind!”

“I got some advice too. He said that by being myself, I can bring out my natural charm, and that I should just be confident.”

“……Is that so.”

“That’s completely different from what he told me,” I thought to myself.

Deep inside my chest, ugly jealousy began to sprout alongside my anxiety.

It was dark, viscous, oppressive, and the moment I became conscious of it I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I brushed it off. I didn’t want to lose to something like that.

After all, I’m gonna become an idol, and I want to keep that idol spirit inside my heart too.

“If it’s dancing, I can teach you all ‘bout it!”

That’s why I decided to say that. Komu-kun who said, “Chii, you’re too kind!” was really happy.

Because of my slight sense of guilt, I swore to make sure to teach him with absolute seriousness and sincerity.

I made up my mind to practice together, to make sure that both Komu-kun and I could make it through to the next selection.